Fat, Hourglass or Skinny: 17 Ways To Know Your Worth, Then Add Tax!

• A deep dive into building unapologetic confidence as a woman.
• Importance of addressing self-esteem issues and seeking therapy.
• Confidence is about self-acceptance and understanding one's worth.
• Strategies for maintaining and elevating womanly confidence.
• A reminder of the hurdles black women face in their confidence journey.

hey everyone, chloe here and welcome back to my channel! if you are new here, ladies and lurkers and ear hustlers, welcome!

so i wanted to make a very important, highly requested, and a very necessary in-depth feminine school video on how to be an unapologetically inside-out confident woman, especially when on your feminine journey, but particularly as a black woman.

as black women tend to not have very strong and healthy support systems unless they can afford them, being confident while operating in the softness of your feminine as a black woman can be, and will be, very threatening to the expectations of the status quo. this is especially true in today's very hostile and aggressive social media environment, where black women are being trashed, ripped apart, eviscerated, and are being put on the defensive, constantly and relentlessly being harassed and attacked, and being viciously picked apart for even daring to live or even daring to dream of living a feminine provider life.

i first want to responsibly say that this video is in no way a substitute or a surrogate, or a shortcut or a cheat code for one-on-one personalized therapy. if you are a woman who is avoidant in confronting or unpacking your persistent self-esteem issues, you are only going to prolong and delay your healing process. ladies, having a working relationship with a therapist as a part of your level up is a game changer. so please do not use this video as a complete substitute to address the deeper emotional struggles that may be causing you to lack confidence.

now some women are born more naturally confident than others, but i wanted to make a video to address the very common everyday struggles of women who are inclined to put their worth into the hands of people who don't matter and who should never matter. confidence is the winning mindset that a woman will need to feel worthy of the risk-taking, the receiving, and the winning that will come with success of any kind.

but confidence won't happen and cannot happen when a woman is lacking in the fundamental mindset skills that are required for flourishing, self-protection, and self-preservation.

traditionally, when we think of confidence as women, we tend to associate confidence with toughness, accomplishment, or even arrogance. but what exactly does it mean to have womanly confidence? confidence does not come from just one thing because confidence at its core is a high or low state of being.

while none of us are confident 24/7 and we will all have days where we are not feeling our best, womanly confidence at its core means having the unapologetic, without shame or guilt, ability to not only like and love yourself, but it is also a woman's ability to choose herself over everyone and their feelings.

this means not allowing the negative feelings of others, the controlling feelings of others, the distorted feelings of others, the insecure feelings of others, and the domineering feelings of others to boss around, own, or control the narrative of your life. it is very important for a woman to always make her own voice bigger and stronger than the negative, the loud, the wrong, and the strong voices that are out here in the world.

confidence also means the private and internal knowing that you are worthy of self-care, self-protection, and respect. confidence is also the feeling of being worthy of having the best of what life has to offer.

confidence is about feeling worthy in a world that is constantly on the hunt and on the attack, that is trying to belittle, that is constantly trying to put your head on a swivel, that is trying to put you in a box, and that is trying to get you to sell yourself short at a bargain or at a discount rate.

so again, confidence, or the lack thereof, has many lanes and many layers. this low confidence engineering and grooming is especially true for younger women and girls who are often not taught or modeled womanly confidence and who are often groomed to play themselves small by their very own broken, unloving, rude, toxic, neglectful, abusive, and/or dysfunctional families.

they are also not often prepared by their families for the amount of hate, pushback, criticism, psychic vampires, or contamination energy that will arrive at their doorstep when they are out there in the world trying to make their dreams come true.

this may ruffle some feathers to hear, but it needs to be said: younger people are not being warned enough about the self-hate and the self-loathing of the defeated people in the world who are haunted by their regrets and their demons. these are the dusty male and female weirdos who will usually be the quickest and the swiftest demons that work overtime in undermining and attacking a young woman's confidence, projecting their failure energy onto others because we all know that misery does not like to be alone, and that misery loves company.

so, having confidence, ladies, is key in breaking generational curses. people will do and say anything and will go above and beyond to stop your shine and dim your light, but the good news is that confidence can be restored and worked on over and over and over again.

here are 17 mindset ways to gain womanly confidence and to keep your confidence elevated:

1. Know who you are and what you want. confidence begins with clarity and knowing what makes you happy. as a woman, it is your job to identify your needs and to be as clear as possible about it. to not know what you want or to lack clarity will invite the spirit of lostness and the spirit of confusion to your doorstep.

2. Practice the metaphysical art of manifesting. learning how to manifest will increase your confidence because once you accomplish manifesting a smaller goal, your confidence in making the larger goals happen will increase. manifesting is also good for keeping your vibrations and frequency high so that non-believers and their disempowering fear tactics cannot infect you.

3. Understand that you are worthy of protection. building your confidence has a lot to do with feeling worthy of protection. people who are bullies, naysayers, controlling people, who seek to dominate or harass you, will test your boundaries to see if they can get away with mistreating you. it is perfectly okay to shut out the low frequencies that seek to chop your tree down.

4. Respect the throne and the temple of your body. a main ingredient in having confidence is having body confidence. if you are a woman who is mistreated, neglected, or has self-abused her body, you will not be an inside-out confident woman. having body confidence is an absolute feminine necessity.

5. Heal the broken little girl within. inner child work is imperative for a woman to have womanly confidence. healing your inner child is a very necessary step in honoring your womanhood and femininity.

6. Understand the importance of having boundaries. confident women have boundaries that are necessary for your protection and for eliciting respect. confident women create boundaries unapologetically because boundaries are necessary for a woman's mental health.

7. Give yourself the gift of grace. self-forgiveness is a must for success in womanhood and femininity. life is about trial and error, and giving yourself grace means allowing yourself to be human, flawed, and imperfect.

8. Respect and own your authenticity. authenticity is a huge part of having a living and breathing personality. it means accepting your flaws, quirks, and all the little things that make you unique.

9. Use the kick rocks or change the channel strategy. the kick rock strategy is a simple effective mindset tool that you can use for anyone who tries to be a negative distraction. you are allowed to change the channel on the haters.

10. You don’t need to be liked by everyone. confident women know that everyone will not like them and that not only will they survive not being liked, but they will thrive.

11. People will be insecure, and it is not your job to fix it. it is not your job to manage the insecurities of others. being confident means knowing that the only person you are responsible for fixing is yourself.

12. Practice shadow work. shadow work is the full ownership of your dark side and the hidden parts of your personality that make you human.

13. Have your own mind. a confident woman thinks for herself and does not let the voices of others become more important than her own.

14. Do not allow trauma dumping. trauma dumping is a toxic form of venting that can derail your confidence. it’s not your job to absorb the emotionally heavy issues of others.

15. Recognize an unhappy person when you see one. unhappy people will always try to lower the confidence of others. protecting your boundaries from unhappy people is your job.

16. When being criticized, always consider the source. often, criticism comes from a place of jealousy, envy, or insecurity. don’t allow negative people to speak power over your life.

17. Learn how to become your own best friend. confidence comes from liking yourself and being able to enjoy your own company. learn how to congratulate yourself, celebrate your successes, and let that confidence journey unfold.

so that is all that i have to say on this for now. confidence is key in having success and is a necessary ingredient for self-acceptance, being bold, and grabbing life by the horns.

so ladies and lurkers, what are some things that you do to be confident and who are the people in your life who have tried to destroy your confidence?

as always, i look forward to reading your amazing comments below and stay tuned for more feminine school videos to come! i will catch up with you ladies and lurkers in the next one. [Music] [Music]