19 body language secrets to look attractive & confident.

• Hello ladies and gents, welcome back to my main Channel!
• Today we're going to talk about body language secrets.
• Body language can shape our identity and confidence.
• We'll cover tips based on psychology that make you more charismatic.
• The way you move and act can significantly influence how others perceive you.

Hello ladies and gents, welcome back to my main Channel! Today we're going to be talking about body language secrets, all the way down to how you talk, the way you move, the way you act—tips, tricks, whatever—based on psychology, which is going to make you more attractive, more appealing, more charismatic, and more likable. Blah blah blah, the list goes on.

So why is body language important? It’s not just important because it signals to the world who we are, our confidence, and how we feel about ourselves and the world. It’s important because it can actually shape who we are. For example, if you’ve ever heard that if you pull your shoulders back and stand in this superhero pose, you will automatically feel more confident. That is your body language signaling to your brain, "I feel confident when I do this." Therefore, let’s behave in a more confident way.

If you're giving a presentation and you have this open body language—you know, you're taking up space—we’ll talk about that in a bit! You’re moving around, signaling to the audience that you are secure and that you are someone they should be listening to. Body language is your superpower because we can also fake our body language. For example, in instances where I am not feeling confident or I’m feeling a little insecure, I will be very mindful of my body language and how I’m presenting to the world.

Naturally, if we’re feeling insecure and unconfident, we want to take up less space, which means we hunch our shoulders, and we probably have a downward gaze. And if we have a downward gaze, we're indicating that we are submitting right now. Okay, we don’t feel good, we’re looking down. We feel weak and powerless. Guys, pull your shoulders back, do some posture exercises—you can’t have this aura of confidence yet still be like this; it doesn’t work like that. Fix your posture!

And posture is not just about pulling your shoulders back, by the way. It’s how we walk too; it’s got a lot to do with our hips and also our gait. When you are shaking hands with someone, I never want you to give them a weak handshake. When I was 12, my mom had a bookshelf of business books, a lot written by Donald Trump, and she would give them to me to read. I will never forget he said in his book, “Never give someone a weak handshake.” I won’t do business with someone who has a weak handshake because it’s a signal of who we are—our conviction, our strength. I always remembered that from a very early age.

Now, whenever I give someone a handshake, I have a very firm grasp, and every time, they will compliment me.

We touched on this point earlier, but you want to have good eye contact—like looking at someone for 3 to 5 seconds, then looking away and coming back. People who are insecure will always look down or anywhere but at you. Have you ever been on a date and the other person, or you, are so nervous that you might look at them and then immediately look away? I know there have been times where I’ve been really nervous, and I find that I can’t even make eye contact with them, and I’ll be like, “But that indicates nervousness and that you're not feeling confident.”

Especially in situations where you need to show that you are confident—like in a legal battle, if your lawyer and the other lawyer are having a face-to-face conversation when they're presenting an offer to you—if you are looking hesitant, shrinking your body language, looking down, they can tell you’re restless; you don’t really know what’s going on, you don’t feel confident about your side of the case. Strong eye contact is so important!

If you’re feeling really nervous and struggling to maintain that eye contact, something I do is blur my eyes.

How you move is important too. If you are moving fast or fidgeting, like constantly moving around or playing with things on you, that indicates nervousness and restlessness—not a lot of confidence. You want to move with confidence and poise, and slowly. Don’t forget, if you’re commanding attention in that moment, you control time!

If you’re moving fast and talking fast, it’s very clear that you don’t know how to control time. Also, what is more seductive? Say I want to fix my sleeve, okay? And I go, “Done!” or, “Hmm…”—taking up space.

We talked about this a bit earlier; remember, if you’re unconfident, you’re shrinking yourself, you don’t want to take up space. You’re probably closed off, body language together like this, looking down at your phone. When you take up space like I am right now, I’m taking up the whole frame, I’m moving my hands.

Another point: open palm gestures signal confidence. Taking up space and moving around—if you’re in a meeting, you want to use your arms, your body language. If you want to command the room, you should also stand up, walk around, and make eye contact with everyone in the room. The best public speakers are always the ones who look around the room. They might gaze at someone for a couple of seconds, then look around, making sure to scan the entire room.

When we just hyperfocus on one person in that room, we’re not commanding the audience; we’re not giving attention to the rest of the audience, and it’s also signaling unconfidence.

Talk downward. If you're American or you're a valley girl—even I can fall into this!—but we need to talk downwards. Americans tend to have this upward intonation at the end, where it’s like the Kardashians—they're asking a question and talk upwards instead of downwards! Talking downwards is very authoritative, like you're making a statement, and it shows confidence in the way you speak.

Pausing in your speech shows how you command a room as well. For example, I just paused—what is she going to say next?

Having a tilted head actually implies to the other person that you are engaged in the conversation and makes someone feel special. They feel special around you, and they naturally like you more. I find when I’m really interested in a conversation or I find myself attracted to someone, my head tilts so much! I hate it; there are times when I’m on a date, and I catch myself like, “Yeah, mm-hmm,” and I have to literally be like, "Let’s not do that again."

And throughout the night, okay, having a genuine smile—guys, is my smile fake or real right now? I guess we’ll never know! A real smile, we actually consciously know what it is, and it’s where our eye creases crinkle. This is why when people get BOTOX, it’s not very comforting to the other person when you’re speaking to someone with Botox; you can't even tell if they’re giving you a genuine smile or not!

Did you know facial expressions are seen as more attractive? If you’re getting that premature Botox when you don’t need it, and you’re completely frozen, it can make you look older and more unattractive.

Lower the tone of your voice if you want to be taken more seriously. This is something you can do—usually when I’m filming my YouTube videos, I talk like this; I’m moving around. But when I do my meetings, I want to be taken more seriously—then if I’m talking like this in the meeting, “Hey what up everyone!”

Unfortunately, if you have that higher pitch voice, it is harder for someone to take you seriously. I mean, look at Paris Hilton; when she changes her voice from her normal voice to a baby voice, you immediately notice the difference in the room and how people respond to her.

When someone’s talking and you're in conversation, nodding signals that you are paying attention and you are engaged in the conversation. What does that mean? You make them feel better; they like you more.

Slow your breathing. This is a big one for my anxious people, including me! I tend to dissociate a lot, get anxiety, and I breathe fast; I cannot help it because I will feel so stressed out. So something to be mindful of is your breathing, and meditation can really help with that and just connecting to your body more because you will notice in situations where you do start to breathe more fast; it’s probably when you’re nervous.

Lean in when you’re talking to someone; lean in a little bit. You probably know what it signals by now. What does it mean if we are doing body language that signals to the other person? We’re engaged. They subconsciously like you more; you look more confident—blah blah blah. The list goes on.

And finally, you probably have heard of this, but mirroring movement—mirroring someone’s movement—again goes back to the earlier points. However, this is kind of funny! I told you earlier, I’m very aware of people’s body movements as well as my own, especially if I’m not present in the moment.

Usually, it happens on all my dates! If I’m not quite present, I’m not enjoying myself, so I’m really watching their body language and my own. I remember I went on a date with this guy who I could tell really liked me, and I was a bit like... I don’t know. So my body language, I was leaning back, and he would be like this to me, and I’d go, “Mm-hmm”—I would take a step back or to the side, and he would take a step. I would fold my arms; he would fold his arms. I would be scratching my head; he would scratch his head.

I don’t think he was actually doing this consciously; I think he was completely unconscious, but I noticed it. I noticed if people also do it on purpose! So if you really get to know these things, you can clock it in yourself and with others.

There are times where I’m like, “Oh, I feel really bad right now! I want to slouch,” and I’m like, “No, we can’t signal this—let’s pull our shoulders back right now, someone! Let’s be confident!” So it’s important to know these things.

Okay, like I said, you go into a job interview, and you feel that day, like maybe something happened—your cat died. You don’t want to be at that job interview; you feel really weak; you feel unprepared. You can slow down your tone, talk downwards, lower your voice, maintain eye contact with them, and take up space in the room. That’s like half the job done—half the job is your aura!

And guess what ties into your aura? Your body language! Boom!

Okay, thank you for watching! [Music]